this journal has moved to http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/dez705 :)

to continue or not to continue

Alright, I think I am officialy moving to greatestjournal.com

I'm a bit lonely there without any friends, so therefore I am giving you the link now:
http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/dez705/

Dunno where I will continue.
I dunno. I am just fed up with blogspot. But I hate to leave the archive I built up here behind.
But other than that there are just things changing in my life, so I could leave behind what I have built up here and start overnew.

needless to say this blog will remain.

I just dunno where I will continue. Im awful, i doubt about everything.

Blogspot: + Archive, I know how to use it.
- Cannot use html, slow. Lay out changing is crap.

Greatest journal: + fast, lay out changing easy
+/- start overnew
- ....?

I dunno, you tell me. To continue or not to continue on blogspot.

In addition to my last entry ("I need a boyfriend"):



Now love me ! *wink*

-entry deleted-


Think I'm moving from blogspot. it's driving me fucking insane. can't even use html without fucking up your lay out...

can anyone recommend a journal hosting site, besides livejournal?

Been reading German again since yesterday. Got another reading- and listeningfile coming, and I still have to catch up with last time.. This time I want to over-do it, but I don't think I'll manage to do that.. But at least I can get up to 1000 minutes, which I am supposed to.

I am determined to pass this year, after seeing I had gone from 8 bad (average) grades to 5.. I didn't even had a clue I had improved.
So anyway, I am gonna (try to) proove to everyone who believes I can't make it, that I will pass!

Other then that I saw The day after tomorrow yesterday. The movie itself was pretty awesome, just ending completely sucked. How cliché! Everyone survived, happy end, the world didn't get destroyed or whatsoever... Big turn off.
But it was pretty cool to come outside at midnight, after seeing the movie (in which there was a lot of bad weather, all signs that there was going to be a new ice age) and finding out it's all misty.. To wake up the next morning in a heavy rainstorm with continously thunder for about an hour.
Yeah baby!

So what else..? Music: Both My chemical romance albums are on order (I feel pretty guilty Rob, for letting you order it for me... *blushes shamefully* .... But again: Thank you!!!)
I've got a Nirvana song where Kurt Cobain moans loudly and nice. Yay! I like Nirvana. I downloaded some not well known songs (for me ;)) the other day and I really like it.. so yeah. another band to add to my "Good band list".

Aaand.. I need a boyfriend.
Seriously, I don't mean to be offensive.. But lately I've seen & read about certain people having a boyfriend and it makes me wonder what the hell I am doing wrong. Cos those people.. ehm.. Yeah, they're either ugly or really stupid. In worst case both.
So either I am just jealous, or I am even worse then they are.

Been working with html again today (see, Im a nerd ;)), and writing articles for pauli-therasmus.tk (which will be "moving" once everything is back online again. But it's just a change of URL. Currently still a big secret.)
I should get a fancy URL like .com or .net sometime. It's not eventhat expensive... It's just that my sites aren't "big" enough to buy a domain name. (although my forum has been getting freaking much hits per month. It's scary!)
And .tk is for free. so...

Anyway, gonna read some more articles now.
I kind of like it; i have sceduled my time a bit. This makes me think I have more grip on things.. It's good. :)
Life is not too bad (anymore). It'll get good/better. :) :) :)

I AM DESPERATE!!

I need the fucking My Chemical Romance CD!

PLEASE help me, can someone order it for me online or something (it's called Large.nl or play.com.) I don't care! I will pay you back obviously, but I am dying here.
i can't fucking wait till 27/05 anymore!

My ither MCr album (bullets) should arrive this week, now I just need 3 cheers... oh gosh.. Help. I'm desperate!

I should really learn to control my temper, shouldn't I?
It's less now, but I used to have these angry moods very often. It was very frustrating, cos I got so upset i could harm myself (mind the could. I never did so). I was just so angry I didn't what to do. And I always had to bottle it up. If I didn't then there was war.

I hadn't had such an angry mood in ages, but yeah.. I did it again last night. Thankfully I was pissed at myself and not blaming anyone else for something.

Last night was kind of fun, btw. I let my "babysitrat" (Ties) out of his cage, and let him walk around in the bathtub (bathtub? yes bathtub. He leaves this wet trail of stinky smelly yuck behind and I didn't fancy scrubbing the entire floor after he was finished playing around). Anyway, I joined him in the bathtub and he kept climbing upon me and licking my hands and stuff. He's a complete cutie.
I'd love to show you photos, but as I said before; I can't load my photos onto the comp anymore.. So yeah. I played with the rat, while others were at a party ;)

After that I watched Der Untergang. I can't say I was really impressed.. Somehow this war stuff doesnt seem to impress me too much (Ypres. been there.. Wasn't impressed. Pnly by the gasmasks). The end of Der Untergang was Ok-ish. When they drove of with the bicycle, and the story of what happened to the main characters of the film (obv. the actual war people and not the actors).

After that Dad flicked through the channels and I saw Batlle Royale. Friends of mine talk about it frequently, but I hadn't seen it before so I stayed up until 2.30 AM to watch the movie, of which I didn't get a crap (fell in half way the movie). And I am sorry: but I also thought it was boring..

So anyway, it's freaking good weather today. I wanted to go out with a friend, but she can't go. So maybe tonight.

Instead I am going over to my sister and also watch a bit of MTV's Gay Weekend ^_^ Yay!

Having the window fully open, listening to live music coming from the market. It's "vrijmarkt". (market where you can sell all your old crap).
From a distance this live band sounds good, so aslong as I don't come near I can enjoy it (cos face it; these bands that perform are usualy compelte crap).

This weekend (or Monday I suppose) Dad and I are gonna book our vacation to Rome. I had done some research before and Dad was all enthusiastic on how cheap it was, when in my eyes it was just plain expensive. So I did some more research (like in "Going-to-the-UK-for-a-gig" style, which is always as cheap as possible) and yeah.. It turned out to be far less expensive. about 200/300 Euros cheaper. Go me!
Maybe I should become a travelagent .. (nah!)

Enough blabbing for now. Going to my sis.

and you know whats even better? Since my stupid fucked up sister bought her own digi cam to take pix of her cock sucking bunny rabbits I haven't been able to load my pictures onto the computer anymore.
Freaking fantastic. That does great things with my mood.

I am seriously boiling with anger.
Omg, die all of you. leave me alone.

So here I am sitting at home, leading my boring life meanwhile I could have been at a party and meet new people.

A friend phoned, there's a party around here and she could take along anyone she wanted. So, she asked me to come along, I live near the place after all.
But fuck, just the thought of going there, being around people I don't know.. I just freaks me out. And I feel so fucking stupid now.

I wish I wasn't that shy, that wouldn't worry about how to act around those people... That I could just say: Hey cool, lets go. And meet people.

I suck, Ok?

And then there's also the fact that I am so shy around guys I like.. There's this guy and I think he's really cute. I would love to get to know him and he's easy to talk to.. But you know.. What have I got to offer him? I've basically got nothing to tell, cos I haven't got a life.

I want to get fucking rid of this "thing".
I like the guy, I want to get to know him.
I would want to go to the party, so I could get a life and get outside.

But here I am sitting at home complaining and being pissed off at myself. What a "life".