hey pauri ystavaan

weeee! a friend of mine just emailed me, she found the hidden extra on the the Rasmus DVD. it rocks! Hopefully there's more!

Yesterday I was at the pet shop and I was looking at the mice (Piiku is still alive, she might even be doing a bit better!!) and there was this little mouse, white and light brown. so fucking gorgeous!! it looked at me, and I was like: 'AKI!', then this brown mouse joined and I was once again: 'PAULI!'
Aki & pauli will be the names of my new mice (or hakala & rantasalmi. what do you think?), unfortunately, I can't buy these. First of all, because I am leaving to Ede tomorrow. (I have to be around when they get here, so they can get used to their new cage and me), and secondly I still have to fix the cage I have. There's a hole in it, big enough for a mouse to fit through. Not just one actually, probably two at the same time. So, I suppose the new mice will arrive in January. Not to mention that my dad still isn't ok with it, but I don't care. he didn't like it either when I bought Piiku, but who cares. He's got nothing to do with her. He hardly ever looks at her.

My sister also bought some new toys for the pets, so I suppose Choopa & the new mice will be happy. (I'm saving one of the new toys for the new mice, because piiku probably won't be albe to play with it. besides that, her cage is pretty full already).

and well, what more is there?
I'm not up to a lot of things these days, it's just been pretty busy with piiku being ill, and christmas and stuff. January will be a bit calmer I suppose.
But I am gonna celebrate my one year slash-anniversary lol! It's gooood. it's good to be slash obsessed. makes life better. ;)

Im off now. need to print out the train trip to Ede (almost 2 fucking hours by train <_<)>

we wish you a fucking Christmas

GOD! I hate christmas so much! this year sucks so much!

I've been crying for two days already. I feel depressed and angry and I hate to see Piiku like this. she's getting worse (and this is gonna sound harsh) and she won't die. I honestly hoped for her sake that she'd die over the night, but she didn't. She can;t even walk straight anymore and when she's eating she doesn't use her paws anymore.
I feel so horrible looking at her that I want to release her from pain (if she's feeeling any) or at least make her life worth, cos the way she is living now isn't even a life.
When I said that I couldn't look at this anymore and wanted to go to the vet on Monday to let him put her down, my sister said I was being selfish. That I was going to let her put down just because I didn't like the look of it. But that's not even what I said! How can I just stand there looking at her slowly dying and doing worse each day. Isn't that selfish?
Then she told me to stop feeding her. But I am not gonna kill her. It's normal to put your pet down when it's ill, doesn't get better anymore and doesn't/can't have a live that's wort it. Then you owe to your pet to put it down, but I will not stop feeding her or give her stuff that she will die of (I still have Leo's antibiotics, they (=family) said to me that I had to give her an overdose. then she would die. In the end I would only screw up her kidneys and make it even worse. But even if she did die, I'd still go the vet. I am not gonna kill her.)
Let's just hope she passes away over the night. I hate to put pets down. I'd rather have to die in her sleep...

Had the gourmet last night. I think I broke a personal record, but not a good one: I was stuffed so quickly! usualy I eat on for ages and take a break and continue again, but basically when I took my break I was finished. I was so stuffed! Weird.... let's tryagain next year.

One of my sisters also gave me some money yesterday (unexpected. that's the best) and I decided to buy a The Rasmus album that I've been wanted for a long time. It's not for sale in the Netherlands, but my friend (Taz = Rasmus obsessed) always orders them from cdon.com. I just phoned her and asked if she wants to order HellOfATester (it's hell of a tester, or hello fat ester -- whatever you want.), she will. And she asked if I wanted the Funeral Song CD single as well. Stupid as I was I thought I'd had to pay for extra costs (it gets shipped form abroad) again.. Of cousre I do not, and she shouldn't have said that! So Im getting HOAT & Funeral Song :) Let's make this a Rasmus Christmas (2 DVD's, a CD & CD single....).
I'm also putting some money on my account, cos I've heard that they are coming back for a gig early 2005. and if not, then it's for my trip to Scandinavia in 2006 *LOL*. (I've already spent it by then, I can assure you that! I should really get a job, if I ever wanna travel throuigh Scandinavia with that friend. I really want to do that! It's not something you do everyday!)

anyway.... Im off now. Gonna listen to some smaples of HOAT, get myself excited for the day the album arrives ;)
and thank God, Christmas is nearly over...

merry Christmas..

Merry Christmas everyone....

I don't like Christmas. I only like it for the food and presents.
I got my presents last night. Pretty cool-ish. I knew about one already cos I had to go and buy it myself. It's the Live Letters DVD (DVD of The Rasmus). I finaly watched it last night, and I love it. It's really funny.

And tonight is the gourmet and then I basically had all my fun.

Besides that, there's another thing which makes this Christmas crap: Piiku (my dearest pet mouse) seems to be ill. I honestly have no idea what went wrong. She's been like this since last night and got worse this morning. she keeps falling asleep or just sit still and the weirdest places, her eyes are half closed, she just feels really weak, she's slow..... And besides that, she doesn't weigh enough. I dunno if she lost weigh, or never was weighing enough.. I just hope she will be OK.

In a few days I'm going to a friend of mine in Ede. 'Grow your toe and hand nails' she said. She needs to practise for her exam, so I'll get a bath for my hands and feet, a massage and my nails will be cut and will get a pretty colour. hooray! ;)
besides that it'll be a few very Rasmus days, as she's probably even more obsessed then me ;) She has the DVD as well, I got another The Ramus DVD of my uncle yesterday, I have a video tape.... we still have to catch up with each other's gig photos.... 'It's good, and very relaxing' (aki)
and we're going to a friend of her to do some karaoke! oh my God, what did I get myself into ;) *laughs* nah, it'll be good to see her again!

so yeah..... merry christmas and whatever

forum madness

wow, some girl at my forum suddenly decided to leave the forum and never come back again.
I know she wasn't really into the rasmus (anymore), but that she just said like 'this is my last post, goodbye and good luck with whatever you may do in the future.'.. that's weird.
She was one of those girls who was always around. I'll miss her, but yeah... shit happens.

Anywaaay.. the good news is that I have a very relaxed weekend. not much to do.
But I want to have a good convo with my dad about switching subjects at school, but each time I start talking we're like finished in 2 minutes. He agrees with it though. It's up to me, but a little support and someone to think with me would be cool.. though I'm pretty sure about switching. Then it's up to school if I actually can.

It's a shame cos I love the Geo & History classes Im in now.. but hey, if I ever wanna graduate.

Ah well. let's shut up about homework. :)

anyway, I'm of. I'm of to write 'precious slash from Dez' :P

School: part 10274931

Bla bla bla... school is really starting to piss me of.

I'm just sick of everything. I wqant to get away from everything, to a new place and start my own life. Away from everything. Just me and my life. (now one of my teachers is scared that I'll either fail this year or leave school without graduating....)

I might change subjects at school. I completely failed in french. my average right now is a 3 and I just dunno how I'll ever manage to get it back up.
Besides that, I've got some pretty other horrifying grades on my list.. It's just better if I drop French. Instead I will have philosophy.
The only bad side is that I will have to switch two other classes as well. Geography (which doesn't matter in the end cos I have the same teacher, just different hours) and I will have to change history as well, which I regret. The teacher we have right now is so cool! he actually makes it nice. He's so funny!! I will truly miss him as a teacher. If I swap I will get this other dude who's boring and gives unexpected tests. which is not good for me, cos I tend not to study when Im not asked to.

I'm just not too sure yet. If I do swap then I'll have an philosphy exam straight away on friday. I'll probably fail on that one, cos I completely missed out on all the classes. Though somehow I am looking forward to going back to philosophy.
As soon as this year started, I kinda regret choosing French.. And now I completely do. I'll never be able to make an exam in french!!

I'll just have to have a deep thought about it this weekend, and I have to phone the school on Monday, making an appointment with one of teachers and discussing it. I hope by then that I've pretty much made up my mind.

I think I already have.
The only problem is that every teacher has to agree and the problem that the classes might be full. If that is the case, I won't be allowed to change and I will be stuck to French like... forever!! *screams*..

;)

latest news

w00t! Had the The Rasmus gig a few days ago (gah, nearly a week . time flies!) and it was AWESOME! during the gig me & my friend had so much contact with Pauli, the guitarist! He's so awesome! and one hell of a guitarist! After he had done his solo, me and friend bowed down for him. He was grinning like an idiot and stuck up his thumb.
I suppose we made his day, and he made ours. Defenitely mine! But he had all sorts of gestures and signs towards us during the gig. Just great!!
The last picture on my film makes it even better: looking straight into my camera & sticking up his hand towards us. HOORAY FOR PAULI, me hero heh!

My friend actually send me this really cool picture of the the last foreign gig. It was taken on Aug. 27 in London, the day before we went to Nottingham for the gig.
Ir's priceless this photo! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v291/Dez705/Taz/Taz_Dezlondon1.jpg
pay special attention to the look on our faces. "dude! he has a sword!"

School is still stressy, but right now I feel quite relaxed.
Spent maths singing stupid songs & making stupid remarks with a friend...
This gig really lightened up my mood.

Oh yeah, reminds me - whilst queueing at the gig (for 11 f*cking hours...) my sister phoned me: she bought two little rabbits!
Unfortunately one of them got very ill this weekend and actually died today. I feel sorry for my sis..
I hate it when pets die, but I didn't really have a close bond with this one or anything. If he'd been around longeer or something I'd been rather upset.. But yeah..
I always hate it when one of my own pets die though; the emptiness when the cage is gone.. *not good*
And then I'm like, "this one was the last time". But not long after I already have a new pet. I just need them around me.

Which brings me to adorable Choopa. He's been living here for 2 weeks now (or is it 3???...?) And things are going quite well. I can actually cuddle a bit with him now and he sits on my lap & hands and everything.
I feel really proud, cos when he just came here it was impossible to these things with him.

And today it's my forum's One Year Anniversary, and I read somewhere that it's also The Rasmus' 10 year anniversary today. Coincedence or what?

So yeah... That's bassically the latest news for now.
Oh wait, no: my sister got me an (old) album of Good Charlotte (The Young & The Hopeless. title suits me I suppose) and I love it!! :D

*looks out of window and sees car of mom driving away... sis just phoned with pet shop I think. she's not getting a new one already, is she??????*

Whatever.

current mood: happy!
current song: Good Charlotte - the day that I die. Great song!!